Numbers are not my thing. I prefer to let labor unfold without numbers...letting the sounds guide me instead. However, numbers are sometimes helpful when discussing the stages of labor in preparation for birth. The 5 stages of labor that most women will read or hear about are:
~Early Labor (includes the period of waiting where the mother usually gets antsy and "nesty")
~Active Labor
~Transition
~Pushing
~The Birth of the Placenta
You might even hear a more simplified version:
~Early Labor (1st Stage)
~Active Labor (2nd Stage)
~3rd Stage (anything after Active Labor)
And then there is the time immediately after the birth, but we need not put too much thought into that...
STOP! Your birth is not over yet! You still have to feel your way back out of the "birth labyrinth!" You have arrived at the center...the birth of your baby, the birth of yourself as a mother, the birth of your partner as a father, and the birth of your family...but you must go back out!
The postpartum period has the potential to deem your mothering foundation "sand" or "stone!" How you manage physically and emotionally after baby arrives can affect how efficiently you heal and how optimally your organs function. Being mindful of your postpartum environment is just as important as your wishes and dreams for your birth space! Taking care to work out the details for postpartum support is crucial, Crucial, CRUCIAL!
How long does the last stage of labor last?
That depends on your body, mind, and spirit...all of which need extra special care and support after birth! For some mothers, it is just a matter of months before they return to the entrance/exit of their labyrinth. For others, it can take 2 to 3 years. Yes, 2 to 3 years! Each stage of labor is different in length for each woman. There are of course similarities, but the internal journey that each woman experiences is very different from all others. Her beliefs about birth, her body, and her abilities as a mother will play leading roles in her birth play appropriately called "Postpartum." The mother is the "producer," baby is the "director," father is the "co-producer, the aforementioned are her "leading ladies," and all of the other factors...support team, environment, nourishment, and boundaries...are her "extras." And don't forget sound and lighting!
The show will go on, even if parts of the "crew" go MIA. The question is...How smoothly? And the show is different every day! Even when the script remains the same, the action and activity around the script will always change! We wing it and improve when "lines" are forgotten or "characters" misplaced.
It is also hard to forget that there will be a "critic" in the audience at any given time! The "critic" represents the internal voice that might be friend or foe, depending on emotional state and support. One moment you might be telling yourself, "I got this. I'm doing great. I love being a mother," and another "I'm a failure. I can't meet my babies needs. What was I thinking. This is too hard." Your audience will either applaud you or boo you...this is all your internal voice! The audience has also been known to throw a tomato or two...requiring an immediate warm bath and backstage massage!
So how do we set ourselves up for a successfully smooth "show?"
We have a big "pow wow" with the director (this is via womb "Skype" because the director is still on a journey in the ocean) and co-producer...and then choose our "cast" very deliberately and consciously together...being very careful to set boundaries and mood! We want the mood to be intimate and the boundaries to be clear!
Here are some ideas for your "Postpartum" ordeal:
~Just as you thought very deeply on who you want present at your birth, think that deeply on who you want present during your postpartum!
~Consider encapsulating your placenta! This is a diamond in the rough!
~Think of how not to think! How can you continue right brain activity after birth? What can you do to set the stage for privacy, intimacy, warmth, and "making love" with your new family? How can you promote oxytocin release!
~How will you provide nourishment for your body? Have you stockpiled casseroles in your freezer or created a meal train?
~Letting people know ahead of time (before birth) that you may want time to process and play with your new family "alone" is a hard, but necessary conversation to have! Having visitors can be very tiring! Fatigue is a normal part of postpartum, but the degree of fatigue can play a big roll in your emotional state. Studies have revealed that fatigue past the 7th day postpartum can be a precursor to postpartum blues! In our culture, we tend to have lots of visitors in the first few days...hmmmm...I wonder if the higher percentage of postpartum blues in our culture is a consequence? Staying away from social activity, this includes a lot of conversation, is a soul gift to your postpartum self!
~If you are planning to birth your baby in a hospital setting, plan to get home as quickly as you can (considering that all is healthy and normal)! Did you know you can leave the hospital whenever you see fit after birth (usually within 12-24 hours if all is well)? I have heard delicious and beautiful birth stories where mothers enjoyed the first 5 stages of birth at the hospital, but then were very quickly drained by the social, left-brained hospital activity during their 6th stage of labor!
~Talk to your caregiver, doctor, or midwife about your postpartum wishes. Prepare them for a quick exit home!
~Envision being naked with your baby, letting your boobs hang (this will feel better as the milk comes in, allowing your nipples to air dry with breast milk on the tips...one of the best remedies for first time nipple soreness), exposing your vagina to fresh air (this will aide in faster healing), and laying skin to skin with your baby and partner (this will motivate intimacy, bonding, and oxytocin release)!
~If you have a meal train set up, let everyone know ahead of time (before the birth) that they can leave the food on your front porch! No socializing required, unless you want to meet them at the door. It's your perogative. Nothing personal of course! You might even mention that you plan to be naked most of the time, so you will need your privacy!
~If you plan to have visitors, plan to keep it short and sweet! Cancel a visit if you need to.
~Hire a postpartum doula! This is an invaluable service that will help you stay in your right brain! Your doula will act as your left brain, allowing you the space to dive into your postpartum ocean!
~Have a lactation consultant come to your home before the birth to meet with you and your boobs! She will have invaluable wisdom to offer you, setting the stage for a more smooth breastfeeding adventure!
~Go with your gut! Ebb and flow with the moment! Feel your way through postpartum! Stop when you feel the need. Go when you feel you should.
~Be gentle with yourself. Hang postpartum mantras all over your home...mantras that remind you to let go, rest, relax, and make love!
~Partners and husbands, consider how you will make love to your new family...envision speaking softly and sweetly, laying naked with your loves, keeping the lights dim, warming the house with smells and sounds. Perhaps you will guard the front door, not letting anyone in who might kill the mood. Also envision caring for yourself! This is your postpartum too! What does taking care of you look like?
~Plan to have a special someone come to hear your birth story. Choose this someone very carefully. They must come only to listen...without offering up exchanges and comparisons to other birth stories or their own birth experience. Who is that person for you? Your doula? Your mother? Your dearest friend? Your tribe's wisdom keeper?
~Who is your tribe? Your community? Your village? Is it one person or 20? Let your soul choose your tribe. Listen from within. It really does take a village to raise a child. Be very mindful of this.
Do you have any juicy postpartum wisdom? Feel free to share in the comment section!
Take care as you write your postpartum script...
In the spirit of your postpartum muse,
Betsy
To uplift your postpartum journey click here.
No comments:
Post a Comment