Should I Hire a Doula? Yes!

 What is a doula?

A doula is the guardian of the birth place...a birth sherpa that will gently guide you up the birth mountain and back down through the birth valley. She holds a sacred space for the mother and father to experience birth as a rite of passage. She journeys with the parents, encouraging, supporting, and expanding their ideas about birth and postpartum. Her responsibility is to meet each moment with whatever it requires. Nothing more, nothing less. She is the first to arrive in the early stages of labor, preparing the space and calming the parents with her presence.

She may be involved very physically with labor, dancing and moving with the mother through sensations and contractions. Perhaps she hums a low tune, enveloping the parents with energetic love…or maybe she sits in a quiet spot simply witnessing the unbelievable magic of birth. At times she may be the only familiar voice, at other times, she fades into the background of the sweet song of labor.

Her roles ebb and flow with the rhythms of each woman’s birth. She gently guides the mother to find her breath, connect to her baby, or lean on her husband. She encourages co-chanting, movement, hydration, and breath work, and uses other “tools” to keep mother and father in a solution focused mindset. She offers respite when the partner needs rest, response and encouragement when the mother needs more support, and clarity when the thinking mind wanders. Her presence is gentle and kind, yet grounded and steadfast.

A doula will help tame birth tigers. She whispers softly to the mother's fears as they arise and pounce in birth, giving the mother wings in the face of insecurity. She normalizes feelings and honors the inner child that sometimes wants to play with us in birth...transposing birth tiger power into birth warrior energy.   

After the birth, she holds space for the parents to enter birth "hibernation" and process their experience. Her work becomes nurturing the new mother and father. She offers up gifts to the newly initiated parents…a listening ear, a soothing suggestion, healing empathy, or calming conversation. During several postpartum visits, she may offer massage, lactation advice, a foot bath, a prepared meal…or she may simply hold a space for tears. She nourishes the parents through every act of kindness. She plants seeds of awareness wherever she goes. Her value is priceless as she provides what cannot be touched with words. Her cup is empty, ready to be filled with the mystery of birth.

A doula is also a birth story listener. Perhaps she will be the only one who will listen to your birth story without interruption or attachment to self. This simple act is often one of the most memorable and healing for mothers and fathers.

The presence of a doula is priceless for mother and baby. IMPORTANT: She is just as valuable to partners and husbands! She allows the father time to rest, eat, and feel scared or unsure. The partner doesn't have to feel pressure to perform...if he is afraid, then the doula steps in to honor his feelings and offer her strength. Her calming energy soothes the father's anxiety, giving him the opportunity to truly be present with the whole experience. A birthing mother can deeply sense the energy of her partner. The doula knows this, and so she works to keep the partner in a solution-focused mindset. It is here that the partner will move from a place of love...not fear.

A doula will create (through various acts) a sense of intimacy and privacy in your birth space that is oh so necessary for right brain activity. By keeping the lights low, setting the birth space to your wishes, keeping people out (except nurse, midwife, OB, or other mother/father-permitted birth companions), and encouraging mother and partner closeness and connection...she sets and maintains the scene for "love making" and oxytocin release. All of these simple acts are easy to forget or get lost in the activity of "laborland." A doula will act as your left brain, thinking and analyzing to make sure you get what you need.

Her gift is that she can cross from left brain to right in the span of an instant. She meets you exactly where you are as you wander through your birth and postpartum labyrinth...lifting your head, wiping your sweat, catching your tears, and calming your breath.

There are a few things that a doula does not do...

~A doula does not give medical advice. She may offer up bits of herbal or medicinal information, but a mother must run these bits by their midwife or OB before consuming.

~A doula does not speak for the mother to the midwife or doctor. She knows the wishes of the mother and partner, but always consults with the partner directly when the mother cannot talk. The partner then speaks directly to the medical staff about thoughts or concerns.

~Most doulas do not provide cervical checks for dilation. Some doulas do have nursing/midwifery backgrounds and would be able to perform checks...click here for more info on cervical checks during labor.

~A doula does not promise you the birth of your dreams, but rather she opens you to solutions if the going gets tough, preventing and eliminating birth trauma. She calls the mother and father to open themselves to grace...for birth will be exactly what it needs to be for each woman and man. She knows this, and so she honors your birth fantasy by introducing the "birth fairy." The "birth fairy" comes to each birth with little gifts and surprises. We don't know when or how she will bless us, and perhaps we wouldn't know to see her gifts as blessings if we didn't have a doula...as the doula translates and normalizes those parts of birth that we otherwise wouldn't understand or process positively. A doula expands birth dreams because she knows birth is bigger than the imagination.

How much does a doula cost?

Doula cost ranges from $400-$1200 per birth, depending on skill set, area, and package offerings. You can find doulas-in-training who will charge minimally, perhaps not at all, or will agree upon trade/barter. Most postpartum doulas will charge anywhere from $25-$50 per hour...again, depending upon experience, etc.

A birth doula is worth every penny! Perhaps those who want to gift you something for your new baby could get you part or the whole of what you need to afford the birth doula of your choosing.

Ask and you shall receive! Seek and you shall find!

Just as you will feel your way through birth, feel your way to your doula. A good doula "fit" is very important. Let your inner knowing guide your choice. It can be very helpful to find a doula that also mentors a childbirth preparation class. Taking a preparation class that is aligned with your energy, and with a doula that you feel drawn to allows for building trust and getting to know each other in an intimate setting.

 
Did you have a doula? What was your experience? Would you recommend it to other mothers and partners?

With a doula heart,

Betsy

Contact Betsy for doula support packages & rates!