A Birth Poem

My Beloved,
My sweet prince of the sea,
The rocky waves have settled
Finally.

My siren song did bring along your weary soul to see,
That here with me, upon the shore, new life becomes reality.

For in your eyes I knew,
That together we would brew,
A delicious sort of stew.
Ingredients to score here on this sacred shore.
A sailor with his eyes so blue.
A maiden with her sandals tattered.
Two whole hearts of deep red hue,
And seeds of love that must be scattered.
Mix together,
Add some heat,
Simmer slowly,
Let it steep...

And from the pot a star is born,
So as to never feel forlorn.
For as the day turns into night,
Forever we have guiding light.

Our tummies full, our souls delight,
We share in quite a seasoned sight.

Our burdens we share.
Our scars we do bare.
By sailing together,
We manage whatever,
And never shall we come untethered.

My love, My life...Our home is never weathered.
My Beloved,
My sweet prince of the sea...
This bond so great...Never not to be.

{Written for my husband in April of 2010}

Love,

Betsy

About Betsy

Let Your Monkey Do It!

Making noise and moving in birth are two of the most powerful pain coping tools in the universal "birth tool box."

The problem is, a lot of us don't feel comfortable raising our volume, shouting out, or singing our birth song. Many of us were told as young children to "shhhh," "be quiet," "sit still," or "shut up." We were often punished or belittled for being too vocal or too mobile. Our inner child cries out loudly and pulls strongly at our soul strings when we envision ourselves moaning, chanting, wailing, or...(take a deep breath)...completely losing it in front of someone else.

This same inner child might also feel resistance to movement. "What about the time in grade school when everyone made fun of the way I moved to that song," or "the time when Dad told me to stop moving because I might send the wrong message to the boys," or "Mom said stay still or she will...(fill in blank)," or perhaps "my dance teacher said that I would never be as good as the others." All of these inner stories lay the foundation for our beliefs about movement and sound. We arrive at birth with these beliefs. Without inner work, these beliefs will color the birth experience!

We must sort through and let go of beliefs that will not serve us in birth!

How is this done? By preparing from within, balancing practical preparation with emotional and psychological excavation. If we can discover those beliefs that will not serve us, then we create the opportunity to also throw them away, releasing those parts of us that are not really us. We break down our inner workings in order to build ourselves back up...one authentic brick after another. Our inner child carries the shovel, our birth huntress carries the mortar, and our birth warrior is the act of doing...one foot in front of the other until we are whole again. 

How does your inner child feel about movement and sound?

Close your eyes. Right now. Take a moment to envision yourself completely losing it in birth. What does that look like? What do you feel inside of your body when you see yourself breaking apart? How do you imagine your partner, lover, husband, or birth companion witnessing this moment? Feel those feelings! Love that scared, shamed, unsure inner child that needs you right now. Embrace those feelings as you would your new born baby. Don't push them away or try to distract them. Just feel them. Watch them. Be curious about their every move.

This is how we unravel ourselves. This is how we heal. This is how we approach birth in a spiritual and sacred way. This is how we prevent birth trauma.

I challenge you right now to find your inner wolf!

Experiment with making sound. Be uncomfortable. Love your beautiful, vulnerable self.

I also challenge you to find your inner monkey! How do monkeys move? Do they think their way through the branches, or do they feel their way?

Sort through and excavate your beliefs dear beautiful women...

From one birth warrior to another,

Betsy

Dance and sing your way to Mother Chi Birthing!

Finding the Yin and Yang of Postpartum Hormones

No one can truly prepare us for the experience of childbirth.

The transformations, both psychologically and physically, are sometimes too great for words. We often ponder things in our hearts, never truly processing the magnitude of what it means to birth and walk the postpartum path. In the labyrinth of birth, we are culturally conditioned to focus on the journey in, to birth, but not on the journey back out…back to balance and healthful routine. Many newly initiated parents find themselves lost in post labor-land…for they have just experienced a miracle and often times get swept away into the magical world of new life. The jolt of reality that is postpartum can become a mountain that, without due support, may seem unsurpassable. So how do we get the support we need in a culture where postpartum care does not receive the weight it deserves? How can we better understand our bodies and minds so that we might meet their postpartum needs? Perhaps we should consider what is happening inside of our bodies so that we might find solutions to bring us calm, healing, and clarity. By listening to our bodies, we open ourselves to clear communication and fluidity that would otherwise not exist.

Shedding light on the interwoven nature of bodily hormones is crucial in giving us a strong postpartum foundation. Think of a tapestry. All of the colors and textures come together to form a pattern. The pattern can be alive and flowing, or without proper ratio, lifeless and dull. Our hormones operate much in the same way. Estrogen, progesterone, thyroid, prolactin, oxytocin, cortisol, and vasopressin come together to healthfully lead us to greener pastures, or un-healthfully send us into the depths of despair. They are friend and foe depending on proportion.

Estrogen in balance helps promote proper thyroid function, improves brain activity, and prevents the breakdown of serotonin, leading to better sleep. Out of balance, it has been known to increase the risk of fatigue, lethargy, and consequently, postpartum depression. With the birth of the placenta, estrogen levels drop to less than desirable levels.

High progesterone levels prepare our bodies for birth and then also drop dramatically with the delivery of the placenta. Breastfeeding women have been found to have more balanced levels of postpartum progesterone, whereas depressively symptomatic mothers seem to have lower levels of progesterone.

Both estrogen and progesterone affect thyroid production. Hyperthyroidism (too much) can produce anxiety and obsessive behavior, while hypothyroidism (too little) can lead to fatigue, lethargy, and weight gain, both communing very closely with depression. Again, the birth of the placenta greatly affects the levels of thyroid stimulating hormone. A balanced thyroid promotes healthy levels of cortisol and prolactin.

High cortisol levels may result in a weakened immune system and production of postpartum thyroid antibodies that affect thyroid efficiency. Low levels of cortisol can bring about adrenal insufficiency, leading to anxiety, lack of sexual desire, and low blood pressure. This adrenal suppression has been known to accompany depressive behavior. Balanced cortisol levels support balanced prolactin levels.

Healthy amounts of prolactin cultivate ground for a successful breastfeeding experience. Prolactin helps to stimulate milk production and self stabilizes in the presence of lactation. In low amounts, the chances for anxiety, depression, and hostility increase.

In the presence of oxytocin, prolactin levels are stabilized and maintained. Oxytocin promotes lactation efficiency, stimulates uterine contraction during and after labor, aides in pain coping, and greatly influences our maternal responses. In balance, oxytocin brings about good feelings, a sense of pleasure, and clearer cognitive behavior. The lack of such a delicious hormone can send us spiraling towards imbalance, and like dominos, knocks our system to the core.

In tandem with oxytocin, vasopressin helps to regulate the blood pressure and stands to maintain healthy electrolyte counts. In other words, vasopressin levels determine how fluidly our blood circulates to our organs and how well our organs hydrate and communicate, thereby affecting our overall body/brain function.

To support our system in a way that establishes hormone Yin and Yang, we must look to unconventional solutions. Solutions that may or may not be the popular system of choice, as the popular path seems to be allowing the ship to run upon rocky shore, even in the presence of warning and danger. We are culturally conditioned to think that hitting rock bottom warrants discussion and response…while heeding the call of our body beforehand makes us paranoid or needy. My friends, may you follow that little voice within that calls you to listen with all your might and all your soul. If we can get past the cultural stipulation of staying inside the box, we can offer our body and mind the precise support that it needs.

Consider for a moment the benefits of placenta encapsulation. We know that our foundation is deeply shaken with the birth of the placenta, and we also know that the passing of the placenta results in a lack of hormone balance in our bodies after labor. So why not reap the benefits of all this precious organ has to offer? Treated with the methods of traditional Chinese medicine, the placenta takes on medicinal form…a medicine that is perfectly created by your body for your body! All of the hormones that get depleted due to placental passage now come back to your body to create balance and healing. By consuming our placenta, we create a cocoon around ourselves, thereby establishing a safe and productive place to grow and evolve into our new role. With hormonal balance, we find cognitive balance…and cognitive balance provides us with the space to ask for what we need. If we have balance, we have clarity. If we have clarity, we find solutions.

Love yourself. Honor yourself. Plant seeds of renewed energy, life, and equilibrium inside of yourself by encapsulating and consuming this life sustaining treasure.

Stepping outside of the box,

Betsy

Birth Medicine

How did our ancestors birth?

This is a very important question, because in our culture, most of us are not raised with positive and "real" images of birth. We make agreements about how birth will be for ourselves by relying on TV, Hollywood, and popularized books like "What to Expect When You Are Expecting." TV undermines the power, intensity, and intimacy of birth by adding humor and satire...Hollywood tends to depersonalize and mock birth by soaking birth scenes in drama and fantasy...or by completely deleting the act of birth. Ever notice a pregnant leading lady in one scene, and the next she has a baby in her arms? What message does this send? Books like the aforementioned seek to give each mother a map for birth...the same map for every woman. They offer a manual to think your way through birth. This will simply not serve any birthing woman! Too much information activates the left side of our brain and we begin to judge, over-analyze, and anxiously stock pile expectations! We need our colorful and juicy right brain to guide us on this labyrinth of a journey!

Our first birth story deeply affects our birth beliefs. Most birth stories, at least in our culture, are told with judgment and disdain. Perhaps your mother harped on the fact that you took "way to long" to get here, or that birth was "messy," "scary," "traumatic," or "unsafe." Maybe you heard bits of "your father almost passed out (laughter)," "I would never do it again," or "I never got my body back." Perhaps your mother never spoke of your birth...How many of you beautiful women have heard a magical and whimsical version of your birthday? Or did you get infected with the "birth story virus?"

What about our grandmothers? Did they talk to us about birth? Where are the wise old grandmothers and wisdom keepers?

Where are the juicy circles of women, mothers (seasoned, newly-initiated, and soon-to-be), and story-tellers who sit together and support one another and listen...really listen? If you were a fly on the wall, this would not be a social occasion, but a circle full of open ears, quiet hearts, and sacred attentiveness. {If you are reading this and know of such, feel free to comment and share!}

Birthing women need other women who have gone before...who share their birth experiences as birth medicine, using only bits and pieces at a time to soften, open, and expand our ideas about birth!

I hope to plant seeds of birth awareness by spreading "Mother Chi" wherever I go. Won't you join me?

Shall we come together and birth our children in love and light and sacredness?

You can start by posting your birth medicine here.

Here are some visuals to meditate upon.

With open ears,

Betsy

The Intricate Dance of Iron Deficiency, Fatigue, and Postpartum Depression

The postpartum period is one that can be colored with many different emotions, physical adjustments, and psychological shifts. These shifts are different for each woman, but three factors seem to play a big role in the ease of transition from maidenhood into motherhood for a huge percentage of the childbearing population: iron deficiency, fatigue, and postpartum depression. These three bodily responses play important roles in our well-being during the vulnerable time of postpartum. They dance with intricate steps around one another, and understanding their relationship to one another can help unlock their mysteries, thereby making the postpartum transition one of more ease and fluidity. If we can wrap our heads and hearts around the interconnectivity of these three responses, then we are on the path towards opening ourselves to true and healthy solutions.

While it may seem that iron deficiency, fatigue, and postpartum depression are a natural part of the postpartum transition, studies offer us a new perspective. In reality, our perceptions of what should be considered normal are often clouded by the flood of details, physical and emotional, inundating us after birth. While some iron deficiency and fatigue are normal, the duration and concentration of their presence during postpartum can surely motivate the onset of postpartum depression. In the most extreme form, this could manifest into severe mood swings, chronic fatigue, thoughts of suicide, or even harm to baby. The other end of the spectrum might result in lack of energy, muscle fatigue, mild to moderate cognitive cloudiness, and inability or challenge to perform basic household activities. At the end of the day, strong correlations have been made between iron deficiency and postpartum fatigue, and studies show that postpartum fatigue has strong ties to the onset of postpartum depression. So how can we become solution focused in the presence of this triple threat? First, let’s acknowledge some reasons for iron deficiency.

Some factors that could contribute to a more than normal postpartum iron deficiency might be: lack of prenatal supplementation or inconsistency in supplement consumption, anemia not tended to or realized during pregnancy, nutritional deficits, blood loss from birth, multiples, and perhaps the absence or shortness of lactation. Studies also open our eyes to the fact that a large percentage of women do not get an adequate supply of dietary iron during pre-pregnancy life. This would lead us to believe that some women arrive at pregnancy already in the negative. So with that in mind, all of these factors can provide a breeding environment for postpartum fatigue. We often associate fatigue with the rigors of childbirth, and some of this association is warranted. However, chronic fatigue beyond the 7th day postpartum can push us over the threshold of normal and into the realm of deepening depression. Complications arise that, in most cases, could have been prevented with proper attention and care.

In our culture, we are not guided to converse about these things, but simply talking about emotions, thoughts, and physical sensations during postpartum can awaken us to solutions. Studies lead us to the understanding that fatigue and postpartum depression, in most cases, can be managed and quite possibly prevented with iron supplementation and therapy. There are several different therapies for iron deficiency: dietary changes, herbal supplements, iron pills and tinctures. None are as powerful or potent as placenta therapy!

Today, more and more mothers are raising the standards for iron supplementation by encapsulating their placentas. This is an ancient practice that is being brought back to life in our culture. Research is building to support the fact that consuming your placenta is one of the most efficient ways to balance your iron levels naturally after birth. What has long been considered “after-birth” in our culture is now being recognized for its treasure trove of iron content and immunology. Ancient Chinese medicine and placenta now come together to provide you with a perfectly tailor-made iron therapy and immune booster! After all, every woman’s body is different, and pharmaceutical/herbal companies cannot tailor the perfect iron supplement for your body. But you can! And you have! As we embrace what studies are offering up to us, we learn that to waste this special organ is to shut the door on an opportunity to find postpartum balance. In a culture where old ideas transformed into new are key, let us not dismiss this iron rich, fatigue preventing option! We can now see iron deficiency, fatigue, and postpartum depression with new eyes…with informed and solution-focused eyes.

With new eyes,

Betsy

For more information on placenta therapy and placenta encapsulation services, head on over to Mother Chi Birthing!

Birth is Sexual with a Capital "I"

Birth is sexual with a capital "I..."

Don't know about you, but I grew up in an environment where we didn't talk about sex or sexuality or sensuality. I first learned about sex in church. The message I got was, "don't do it...avoid everything that makes you think or feel sensual...and you will know when the right person, your future husband, comes along to enjoy your virginity."

We didn't talk about vaginas or breasts or penises. These were things we would discover for ourselves when the time was right...hopefully on our wedding night in our wedding bed. Those "parts" of our bodies were secret, dirty, and forbidden...until the "right" person came along with a magic key.

Expectations did not match reality. A sense of failure set in.

You can imagine the shame and guilt that came about when sexual/sensual feelings would arise. And it was this shame and guilt that would later lead to sex as a self-destructive behavior. A weapon of sorts. A knife that would cut away a little piece of soul with every act of self-destructive misery.  No sacredness. No love. No connection. No feeling. No INTIMACY.


So...how does all this relate to birth?

If birth is sexual, and not just sexual, but INTIMATE...how might our understanding of sex and intimacy affect our birth experience? How might our expectations for birth set us up for a sense of failure if our birth reality is very different?

Everything about birth calls us to intimacy with ourselves, with our partners, and with the experience as a whole. This is why, in my opinion, some women opt out of "feeling" birth. It is too much to go there...to touch ourselves, make noise, move sensually, and invite our partners into the experience. If we truly include our partners, then they might witness us being vulnerable, crying out, moaning from our core, moving from within, or panting like a tired fox. Perhaps not only is it too much, but maybe we don't know how! Not knowing is scary! We feel like a child...like that child who was shamed for feeling juicy, and alive, and connected to self. How could we fathom being naked and exposed in front of others if we are terrified of being naked and exposed in solitude? How can we envision ourselves with legs and vagina open and loose if we were conditioned to sit properly, legs crossed, and (gasp)..."we don't say that word...we say 'private parts!'" If we have learned that sex is a one way street, intended to pleasure your partner but not you, then envisioning a sexual/sensual/intimate experience...with self, with partner lovingly and patiently holding a space for us to intuitively move, breath, push, and vocalize...is out of the question. And forget patience. Allowing time for the juices to flow, for the rushes to send us into purple orbit, for the pain to transform into healing balm, for our jaws to loosen and sing to our cervix, and for our body to open and pour out...there is no time for this! It is hard to find pleasure in the journey without care for the outcome. For this requires sheer presence and patience and surrender to the unknown...something we are not culturally conditioned to do! Lastly, if sex is used in our lives as a self-destructive mechanism, then surely birth is out to get us. Birth will swallow us whole and spit us out to the wolves. This is of course not true. However, if we arrive at birth with all these agreements, then we stand to experience birth in a traumatic light.

This is how so many women end up giving their power away to the medical model. The medical model strips the birthing experience of intimacy. It may still be a sexual experience, but often times, without intimacy. And what is sex without intimacy? Draining, stiff, more painful, outcome focused, sometimes miserable, and perhaps even traumatic. Just as we cannot think our way through sex (unless we never want to orgasm or experience pleasure), we cannot think our way through birth. We must feel...and the medical model requires that we think, analyze, count, judge, and socialize.

I want to be clear that there is a time and place for intervention. Sometimes it can be the next best thing. But opening ourselves to intervention out of necessity is very different from submitting to someone else's plan for our birth. I also want to say that birth can be intimate anywhere, but different places pose different challenges to our sensual self, and we should be mindful of these challenges...setting up a support team of guardians (partner, doula, midwife, and other support members) who can guard our sacred space...no matter where! And...it's ok to be afraid of intimacy...of our sexual self...and you are not a failure if this fear plays a role in your birth. You are not alone! Think of all the other women who have gone before or who are birthing at the same moment you are that must deal with the same fear and feelings! Send love to your beautiful, vulnerable, scared self...send your breath to the birthing woman who might need it right this very instant!

So how do we deal with this sexual/sensual/intimate dilemma? How do we empty our bowl of expectations and open it back up to grace...to whatever our birth might bring us? We become a birth huntress...taking the time during our pregnancy to hunt those parts of ourselves that will not serve us in birth. We include our partners in our birth journey. This is their birth too!

We prepare in a practical way, but also from within! We call intimacy into our birth experience. We allow intimacy to play with us by searching our hearts, souls, and inner most spaces. We accept the spiritual and sensual nature of birth. We get comfortable with being uncomfortable. We honor our inner child by thanking her for being afraid to feel, and then we ask her to play with us...a game of "blindfold" where we take turns "feeling" our way through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. We include our baby in the process, taking into account their feelings and direction...listening from within...opening our ears to their voice inside of us. Hire a doula! Their presence will allow you to be more fully in your birth...more deeply supported...more primal and sensually right brained...more INTIMATE with yourself, your partner, your baby, and your birth.

This is a very courageous thing to do!

Blessings to you dear birth warrior...to your fears and feelings and sensuality...

Intimately and with an empty bowl,

Betsy


Send attention to your breasts and vagina...how do you feel about your body and your sensuality? What is one thing you can do now, today, to experience intimacy with yourself, your partner, and your baby?

To get more info on Birthing From Within childbirth preparation click here.