Should I Hire a Doula? Yes!

 What is a doula?

A doula is the guardian of the birth place...a birth sherpa that will gently guide you up the birth mountain and back down through the birth valley. She holds a sacred space for the mother and father to experience birth as a rite of passage. She journeys with the parents, encouraging, supporting, and expanding their ideas about birth and postpartum. Her responsibility is to meet each moment with whatever it requires. Nothing more, nothing less. She is the first to arrive in the early stages of labor, preparing the space and calming the parents with her presence.

She may be involved very physically with labor, dancing and moving with the mother through sensations and contractions. Perhaps she hums a low tune, enveloping the parents with energetic love…or maybe she sits in a quiet spot simply witnessing the unbelievable magic of birth. At times she may be the only familiar voice, at other times, she fades into the background of the sweet song of labor.

Her roles ebb and flow with the rhythms of each woman’s birth. She gently guides the mother to find her breath, connect to her baby, or lean on her husband. She encourages co-chanting, movement, hydration, and breath work, and uses other “tools” to keep mother and father in a solution focused mindset. She offers respite when the partner needs rest, response and encouragement when the mother needs more support, and clarity when the thinking mind wanders. Her presence is gentle and kind, yet grounded and steadfast.

A doula will help tame birth tigers. She whispers softly to the mother's fears as they arise and pounce in birth, giving the mother wings in the face of insecurity. She normalizes feelings and honors the inner child that sometimes wants to play with us in birth...transposing birth tiger power into birth warrior energy.   

After the birth, she holds space for the parents to enter birth "hibernation" and process their experience. Her work becomes nurturing the new mother and father. She offers up gifts to the newly initiated parents…a listening ear, a soothing suggestion, healing empathy, or calming conversation. During several postpartum visits, she may offer massage, lactation advice, a foot bath, a prepared meal…or she may simply hold a space for tears. She nourishes the parents through every act of kindness. She plants seeds of awareness wherever she goes. Her value is priceless as she provides what cannot be touched with words. Her cup is empty, ready to be filled with the mystery of birth.

A doula is also a birth story listener. Perhaps she will be the only one who will listen to your birth story without interruption or attachment to self. This simple act is often one of the most memorable and healing for mothers and fathers.

The presence of a doula is priceless for mother and baby. IMPORTANT: She is just as valuable to partners and husbands! She allows the father time to rest, eat, and feel scared or unsure. The partner doesn't have to feel pressure to perform...if he is afraid, then the doula steps in to honor his feelings and offer her strength. Her calming energy soothes the father's anxiety, giving him the opportunity to truly be present with the whole experience. A birthing mother can deeply sense the energy of her partner. The doula knows this, and so she works to keep the partner in a solution-focused mindset. It is here that the partner will move from a place of love...not fear.

A doula will create (through various acts) a sense of intimacy and privacy in your birth space that is oh so necessary for right brain activity. By keeping the lights low, setting the birth space to your wishes, keeping people out (except nurse, midwife, OB, or other mother/father-permitted birth companions), and encouraging mother and partner closeness and connection...she sets and maintains the scene for "love making" and oxytocin release. All of these simple acts are easy to forget or get lost in the activity of "laborland." A doula will act as your left brain, thinking and analyzing to make sure you get what you need.

Her gift is that she can cross from left brain to right in the span of an instant. She meets you exactly where you are as you wander through your birth and postpartum labyrinth...lifting your head, wiping your sweat, catching your tears, and calming your breath.

There are a few things that a doula does not do...

~A doula does not give medical advice. She may offer up bits of herbal or medicinal information, but a mother must run these bits by their midwife or OB before consuming.

~A doula does not speak for the mother to the midwife or doctor. She knows the wishes of the mother and partner, but always consults with the partner directly when the mother cannot talk. The partner then speaks directly to the medical staff about thoughts or concerns.

~Most doulas do not provide cervical checks for dilation. Some doulas do have nursing/midwifery backgrounds and would be able to perform checks...click here for more info on cervical checks during labor.

~A doula does not promise you the birth of your dreams, but rather she opens you to solutions if the going gets tough, preventing and eliminating birth trauma. She calls the mother and father to open themselves to grace...for birth will be exactly what it needs to be for each woman and man. She knows this, and so she honors your birth fantasy by introducing the "birth fairy." The "birth fairy" comes to each birth with little gifts and surprises. We don't know when or how she will bless us, and perhaps we wouldn't know to see her gifts as blessings if we didn't have a doula...as the doula translates and normalizes those parts of birth that we otherwise wouldn't understand or process positively. A doula expands birth dreams because she knows birth is bigger than the imagination.

How much does a doula cost?

Doula cost ranges from $400-$1200 per birth, depending on skill set, area, and package offerings. You can find doulas-in-training who will charge minimally, perhaps not at all, or will agree upon trade/barter. Most postpartum doulas will charge anywhere from $25-$50 per hour...again, depending upon experience, etc.

A birth doula is worth every penny! Perhaps those who want to gift you something for your new baby could get you part or the whole of what you need to afford the birth doula of your choosing.

Ask and you shall receive! Seek and you shall find!

Just as you will feel your way through birth, feel your way to your doula. A good doula "fit" is very important. Let your inner knowing guide your choice. It can be very helpful to find a doula that also mentors a childbirth preparation class. Taking a preparation class that is aligned with your energy, and with a doula that you feel drawn to allows for building trust and getting to know each other in an intimate setting.

 
Did you have a doula? What was your experience? Would you recommend it to other mothers and partners?

With a doula heart,

Betsy

Contact Betsy for doula support packages & rates!










  

Postpartum: The 6th Stage of Labor

Numbers are not my thing. I prefer to let labor unfold without numbers...letting the sounds guide me instead. However, numbers are sometimes helpful when discussing the stages of labor in preparation for birth. The 5 stages of labor that most women will read or hear about are:

~Early Labor (includes the period of waiting where the mother usually gets antsy and "nesty")
~Active Labor
~Transition
~Pushing
~The Birth of the Placenta

You might even hear a more simplified version:

~Early Labor (1st Stage)

~Active Labor (2nd Stage)

~3rd Stage (anything after Active Labor)

And then there is the time immediately after the birth, but we need not put too much thought into that...

STOP! Your birth is not over yet! You still have to feel your way back out of the "birth labyrinth!" You have arrived at the center...the birth of your baby, the birth of yourself as a mother, the birth of your partner as a father, and the birth of your family...but you must go back out!

 The postpartum period has the potential to deem your mothering foundation "sand" or "stone!" How you manage physically and emotionally after baby arrives can affect how efficiently you heal and how optimally your organs function. Being mindful of your postpartum environment is just as important as your wishes and dreams for your birth space! Taking care to work out the details for postpartum support is crucial, Crucial, CRUCIAL!

How long does the last stage of labor last?

That depends on your body, mind, and spirit...all of which need extra special care and support after birth! For some mothers, it is just a matter of months before they return to the entrance/exit of their labyrinth. For others, it can take 2 to 3 years. Yes, 2 to 3 years! Each stage of labor is different in length for each woman. There are of course similarities, but the internal journey that each woman experiences is very different from all others. Her beliefs about birth, her body, and her abilities as a mother will play leading roles in her birth play appropriately called "Postpartum." The mother is the "producer," baby is the "director," father is the "co-producer, the aforementioned are her "leading ladies," and all of the other factors...support team, environment, nourishment, and boundaries...are her "extras." And don't forget sound and lighting!

The show will go on, even if parts of the "crew" go MIA. The question is...How smoothly? And the show is different every day! Even when the script remains the same, the action and activity around the script will always change! We wing it and improve when "lines" are forgotten or "characters" misplaced.

It is also hard to forget that there will be a "critic" in the audience at any given time! The "critic" represents the internal voice that might be friend or foe, depending on emotional state and support. One moment you might be telling yourself, "I got this. I'm doing great. I love being a mother," and another "I'm a failure. I can't meet my babies needs. What was I thinking. This is too hard." Your audience will either applaud you or boo you...this is all your internal voice! The audience has also been known to throw a tomato or two...requiring an immediate warm bath and backstage massage!

So how do we set ourselves up for a successfully smooth "show?"

We have a big "pow wow" with the director (this is via womb "Skype" because the director is still on a journey in the ocean) and co-producer...and then choose our "cast" very deliberately and consciously together...being very careful to set boundaries and mood! We want the mood to be intimate and the boundaries to be clear!

Here are some ideas for your "Postpartum" ordeal:

~Just as you thought very deeply on who you want present at your birth, think that deeply on who you want present during your postpartum!

~Consider encapsulating your placenta! This is a diamond in the rough!

~Think of how not to think! How can you continue right brain activity after birth? What can you do to set the stage for privacy, intimacy, warmth, and "making love" with your new family? How can you promote oxytocin release!

~How will you provide nourishment for your body? Have you stockpiled casseroles in your freezer or created a meal train?

~Letting people know ahead of time (before birth) that you may want time to process and play with your new family "alone" is a hard, but necessary conversation to have! Having visitors can be very tiring! Fatigue is a normal part of postpartum, but the degree of fatigue can play a big roll in your emotional state. Studies have revealed that fatigue past the 7th day postpartum can be a precursor to postpartum blues! In our culture, we tend to have lots of visitors in the first few days...hmmmm...I wonder if the higher percentage of postpartum blues in our culture is a consequence? Staying away from social activity, this includes a lot of conversation, is a soul gift to your postpartum self!

~If you are planning to birth your baby in a hospital setting, plan to get home as quickly as you can (considering that all is healthy and normal)! Did you know you can leave the hospital whenever you see fit after birth (usually within 12-24 hours if all is well)? I have heard delicious and beautiful birth stories where mothers enjoyed the first 5 stages of birth at the hospital, but then were very quickly drained by the social, left-brained hospital activity during their 6th stage of labor!

~Talk to your caregiver, doctor, or midwife about your postpartum wishes. Prepare them for a quick exit home!

~Envision being naked with your baby, letting your boobs hang (this will feel better as the milk comes in, allowing your nipples to air dry with breast milk on the tips...one of the best remedies for first time nipple soreness), exposing your vagina to fresh air (this will aide in faster healing), and laying skin to skin with your baby and partner (this will motivate intimacy, bonding, and oxytocin release)!

~If you have a meal train set up, let everyone know ahead of time (before the birth) that they can leave the food on your front porch! No socializing required, unless you want to meet them at the door. It's your perogative. Nothing personal of course! You might even mention that you plan to be naked most of the time, so you will need your privacy!

~If you plan to have visitors, plan to keep it short and sweet! Cancel a visit if you need to.

~Hire a postpartum doula! This is an invaluable service that will help you stay in your right brain! Your doula will act as your left brain, allowing you the space to dive into your postpartum ocean!

~Have a lactation consultant come to your home before the birth to meet with you and your boobs! She will have invaluable wisdom to offer you, setting the stage for a more smooth breastfeeding adventure!

~Go with your gut! Ebb and flow with the moment! Feel your way through postpartum! Stop when you feel the need. Go when you feel you should.

~Be gentle with yourself. Hang postpartum mantras all over your home...mantras that remind you to let go, rest, relax, and make love!

~Partners and husbands, consider how you will make love to your new family...envision speaking softly and sweetly, laying naked with your loves, keeping the lights dim, warming the house with smells and sounds. Perhaps you will guard the front door, not letting anyone in who might kill the mood. Also envision caring for yourself! This is your postpartum too! What does taking care of you look like?

~Plan to have a special someone come to hear your birth story. Choose this someone very carefully. They must come only to listen...without offering up exchanges and comparisons to other birth stories or their own birth experience. Who is that person for you? Your doula? Your mother? Your dearest friend? Your tribe's wisdom keeper?

~Who is your tribe? Your community? Your village? Is it one person or 20? Let your soul choose your tribe. Listen from within. It really does take a village to raise a child. Be very mindful of this.

Do you have any juicy postpartum wisdom? Feel free to share in the comment section!

Take care as you write your postpartum script...

In the spirit of your postpartum muse,

Betsy

To uplift your postpartum journey click here.

A Birth Poem

My Beloved,
My sweet prince of the sea,
The rocky waves have settled
Finally.

My siren song did bring along your weary soul to see,
That here with me, upon the shore, new life becomes reality.

For in your eyes I knew,
That together we would brew,
A delicious sort of stew.
Ingredients to score here on this sacred shore.
A sailor with his eyes so blue.
A maiden with her sandals tattered.
Two whole hearts of deep red hue,
And seeds of love that must be scattered.
Mix together,
Add some heat,
Simmer slowly,
Let it steep...

And from the pot a star is born,
So as to never feel forlorn.
For as the day turns into night,
Forever we have guiding light.

Our tummies full, our souls delight,
We share in quite a seasoned sight.

Our burdens we share.
Our scars we do bare.
By sailing together,
We manage whatever,
And never shall we come untethered.

My love, My life...Our home is never weathered.
My Beloved,
My sweet prince of the sea...
This bond so great...Never not to be.

{Written for my husband in April of 2010}

Love,

Betsy

About Betsy

Let Your Monkey Do It!

Making noise and moving in birth are two of the most powerful pain coping tools in the universal "birth tool box."

The problem is, a lot of us don't feel comfortable raising our volume, shouting out, or singing our birth song. Many of us were told as young children to "shhhh," "be quiet," "sit still," or "shut up." We were often punished or belittled for being too vocal or too mobile. Our inner child cries out loudly and pulls strongly at our soul strings when we envision ourselves moaning, chanting, wailing, or...(take a deep breath)...completely losing it in front of someone else.

This same inner child might also feel resistance to movement. "What about the time in grade school when everyone made fun of the way I moved to that song," or "the time when Dad told me to stop moving because I might send the wrong message to the boys," or "Mom said stay still or she will...(fill in blank)," or perhaps "my dance teacher said that I would never be as good as the others." All of these inner stories lay the foundation for our beliefs about movement and sound. We arrive at birth with these beliefs. Without inner work, these beliefs will color the birth experience!

We must sort through and let go of beliefs that will not serve us in birth!

How is this done? By preparing from within, balancing practical preparation with emotional and psychological excavation. If we can discover those beliefs that will not serve us, then we create the opportunity to also throw them away, releasing those parts of us that are not really us. We break down our inner workings in order to build ourselves back up...one authentic brick after another. Our inner child carries the shovel, our birth huntress carries the mortar, and our birth warrior is the act of doing...one foot in front of the other until we are whole again. 

How does your inner child feel about movement and sound?

Close your eyes. Right now. Take a moment to envision yourself completely losing it in birth. What does that look like? What do you feel inside of your body when you see yourself breaking apart? How do you imagine your partner, lover, husband, or birth companion witnessing this moment? Feel those feelings! Love that scared, shamed, unsure inner child that needs you right now. Embrace those feelings as you would your new born baby. Don't push them away or try to distract them. Just feel them. Watch them. Be curious about their every move.

This is how we unravel ourselves. This is how we heal. This is how we approach birth in a spiritual and sacred way. This is how we prevent birth trauma.

I challenge you right now to find your inner wolf!

Experiment with making sound. Be uncomfortable. Love your beautiful, vulnerable self.

I also challenge you to find your inner monkey! How do monkeys move? Do they think their way through the branches, or do they feel their way?

Sort through and excavate your beliefs dear beautiful women...

From one birth warrior to another,

Betsy

Dance and sing your way to Mother Chi Birthing!

Finding the Yin and Yang of Postpartum Hormones

No one can truly prepare us for the experience of childbirth.

The transformations, both psychologically and physically, are sometimes too great for words. We often ponder things in our hearts, never truly processing the magnitude of what it means to birth and walk the postpartum path. In the labyrinth of birth, we are culturally conditioned to focus on the journey in, to birth, but not on the journey back out…back to balance and healthful routine. Many newly initiated parents find themselves lost in post labor-land…for they have just experienced a miracle and often times get swept away into the magical world of new life. The jolt of reality that is postpartum can become a mountain that, without due support, may seem unsurpassable. So how do we get the support we need in a culture where postpartum care does not receive the weight it deserves? How can we better understand our bodies and minds so that we might meet their postpartum needs? Perhaps we should consider what is happening inside of our bodies so that we might find solutions to bring us calm, healing, and clarity. By listening to our bodies, we open ourselves to clear communication and fluidity that would otherwise not exist.

Shedding light on the interwoven nature of bodily hormones is crucial in giving us a strong postpartum foundation. Think of a tapestry. All of the colors and textures come together to form a pattern. The pattern can be alive and flowing, or without proper ratio, lifeless and dull. Our hormones operate much in the same way. Estrogen, progesterone, thyroid, prolactin, oxytocin, cortisol, and vasopressin come together to healthfully lead us to greener pastures, or un-healthfully send us into the depths of despair. They are friend and foe depending on proportion.

Estrogen in balance helps promote proper thyroid function, improves brain activity, and prevents the breakdown of serotonin, leading to better sleep. Out of balance, it has been known to increase the risk of fatigue, lethargy, and consequently, postpartum depression. With the birth of the placenta, estrogen levels drop to less than desirable levels.

High progesterone levels prepare our bodies for birth and then also drop dramatically with the delivery of the placenta. Breastfeeding women have been found to have more balanced levels of postpartum progesterone, whereas depressively symptomatic mothers seem to have lower levels of progesterone.

Both estrogen and progesterone affect thyroid production. Hyperthyroidism (too much) can produce anxiety and obsessive behavior, while hypothyroidism (too little) can lead to fatigue, lethargy, and weight gain, both communing very closely with depression. Again, the birth of the placenta greatly affects the levels of thyroid stimulating hormone. A balanced thyroid promotes healthy levels of cortisol and prolactin.

High cortisol levels may result in a weakened immune system and production of postpartum thyroid antibodies that affect thyroid efficiency. Low levels of cortisol can bring about adrenal insufficiency, leading to anxiety, lack of sexual desire, and low blood pressure. This adrenal suppression has been known to accompany depressive behavior. Balanced cortisol levels support balanced prolactin levels.

Healthy amounts of prolactin cultivate ground for a successful breastfeeding experience. Prolactin helps to stimulate milk production and self stabilizes in the presence of lactation. In low amounts, the chances for anxiety, depression, and hostility increase.

In the presence of oxytocin, prolactin levels are stabilized and maintained. Oxytocin promotes lactation efficiency, stimulates uterine contraction during and after labor, aides in pain coping, and greatly influences our maternal responses. In balance, oxytocin brings about good feelings, a sense of pleasure, and clearer cognitive behavior. The lack of such a delicious hormone can send us spiraling towards imbalance, and like dominos, knocks our system to the core.

In tandem with oxytocin, vasopressin helps to regulate the blood pressure and stands to maintain healthy electrolyte counts. In other words, vasopressin levels determine how fluidly our blood circulates to our organs and how well our organs hydrate and communicate, thereby affecting our overall body/brain function.

To support our system in a way that establishes hormone Yin and Yang, we must look to unconventional solutions. Solutions that may or may not be the popular system of choice, as the popular path seems to be allowing the ship to run upon rocky shore, even in the presence of warning and danger. We are culturally conditioned to think that hitting rock bottom warrants discussion and response…while heeding the call of our body beforehand makes us paranoid or needy. My friends, may you follow that little voice within that calls you to listen with all your might and all your soul. If we can get past the cultural stipulation of staying inside the box, we can offer our body and mind the precise support that it needs.

Consider for a moment the benefits of placenta encapsulation. We know that our foundation is deeply shaken with the birth of the placenta, and we also know that the passing of the placenta results in a lack of hormone balance in our bodies after labor. So why not reap the benefits of all this precious organ has to offer? Treated with the methods of traditional Chinese medicine, the placenta takes on medicinal form…a medicine that is perfectly created by your body for your body! All of the hormones that get depleted due to placental passage now come back to your body to create balance and healing. By consuming our placenta, we create a cocoon around ourselves, thereby establishing a safe and productive place to grow and evolve into our new role. With hormonal balance, we find cognitive balance…and cognitive balance provides us with the space to ask for what we need. If we have balance, we have clarity. If we have clarity, we find solutions.

Love yourself. Honor yourself. Plant seeds of renewed energy, life, and equilibrium inside of yourself by encapsulating and consuming this life sustaining treasure.

Stepping outside of the box,

Betsy